what the crap was i thinking....

i mean, seriously, why was i going to take this stupid test...for anyone not informed, i am sitting at charles's this morning typing this blog, but up until wednesday my plans were to be sitting in a big, cold room at birmingham southern taking the MCAT...now my justifications: first off i was just not ready, there was now way that i could have done well, i started studying too late for this test not thinging it was going to be that hard, i mean i knew it was going to be hard, but not to the extent as when i started studing for it...i studied straight for about one week, and i mean like 4-6-8 hours a day, and at the end of the week i started taking those little (not really little) practice tests, and was doing horrible...now i was okay at some of it, mostly the biology and reading, but everything else was kicking my tail...so i sat back and thought, why the crap am i taking this test? and you know what, i couldnt think of one good reason, i mean i want to be a pharmacist, not a doctor, i like the drugs, and how they work...so why was i taking this test if its not what i wanted...well i finally came to the conclusion that i was taking this test to prove something, and ya know what i have nothing to prove...i have done fairly well, so i didnt get into pharmacy school the frist try, i havent met one person that applied with me that has gotten in, including one of my good friends who has more experience, better grades, and a freakin 98 on the PCAT...when i finally decided not to take it i felt like a huge cloud had been lifted from me, it was great, the first time in forever when i didnt have to worry about anything, my mom and my entire family said that they were glad to see me happy again, so i am glad i made my decision, no regrets...but now i need to go get ready, charles left for work about 30 minutes ago, so i am going to get ready and go up to panera to study some anatomy (one of the classes that i am taking at hinds this semester, ill blog more about that later) and enjoy my saturday with no MCAT...tonight, we are going to see 40 year old virgin...and t/m i have to go back to jackson, but i dont want to think about that now...ill try to blog again soon, i know everyone wants an update...but for now, its just nice to be home...