im back...

sorry i havent posted in a while but i ran away...yep, right after i got settled here in jackson charles and i ran away...we went to new orleans for a few days this week and it was wonderful...we both had been working so hard and taking classes this summer and as a result we really didnt get to spend too much time together, we definitly didnt get to go on any kind of vacation, so tuesday charles drove to jackson and then i drove us to new orleans...we stayed in this cute little hotel in the french quarter, had wonderful dinners, relaxed, and even went out once (but i was in bed by 1030 both nights...oh the party animal that i am)...anyway it was great, we got back thursday and charles had to drive home, it was really hard for me...but im not going to talk about that now...i will leave you with a cute picture of us at Pat O'Brien's Piano Bar

ADVENTURES IN MOVING (PART II)

SATURDAY, AUGUST 6

6 am, up an' at em'...off to walmart to pick up a few essentials and then to krispy kreme, to get breakfast for my movers...charles, his brother brian, and brian's girlfriend jennifer got ther about 9 and we started moving...it felt like there would be no end, i mean we would take things out and when we came back it felt like the boxes had multiplied while we were loading the truck...slowly as things began to be moved out of my apartment, the girls began to realize somehting was not right...dixie and belle began to get scared, and well belle became down right demonic...it was scary to see my girls, my sweet loving girls, being mean and knowing it was my fault, so in trying to comfort my little bella i picked her us to cradle her like a baby (this usually calms her right down, but not today) she went crazy, and the shreads of my arm that i have left prove it...soon after charles's parents got there and we finished up the packing...we all sat down on my nasty cat hair carpeted floor and ate New York Pizza, yummm...then it was time for the Henry's to leave, we loaded charles's truck up with some assundry things that i had no more use for and whole lota food, gave brian a washer and dryer for payment, and they were off...it got to me for a second, but then it was time to clea, so i quit thinking about not seeing my wonderful boyfriend for a while, and picked up a big bottle of bleach to tackle my bathroom...i scrubbed for about an hour while my mom worked on my kitchen, but no matter how hard i cleaned it felt as if i was making no progress, then my mother reminded me that my 80-90 year old apartment was not going to look new, so we finished up...then it was time to drug my girls, and well i was a wimp and just couldnt do it, they went crazy when i tried to get the to take the little dramamine pill that the vet had okayed, so i stopped, crying i could not put my girls through it and i decided that riding home with two fully awake, large felines would just be my sacrifice for them...we then loaded up the last bit of things and hit the road...it was crazy, i felt that i hadnt lived there more than a few months when i left, but i remembered all my amazing times with my girls, my friends, and my school books, i will miss homewood.............on the road, and surprisingly my girls went to sleep for the entire trip, they both also slept together in their cage, it was so nice to just drive in piece...it was my first resting moment in a very long time, i just listened to my choir music and drove, singing so i wouldnt fall asleep...so we drove, and drove, and drove more, i swear it has never taken anyone as long to get from birmingham to jackson as it did us that day, we left brimingham at 345 pm and did not get to my house until 9pm (to give you an idea of the average time trip, i can usually get home in 3 hours)...so home, and what is next, not rest, but unpacking....i shifted through the truck to find my most essentials to keep in my small upstairs bed room, then unloading the huge couch, which probably was very amusing to see my mom and myself trying to pick up the gimongus creature that is my couch...so it was all unloaded into the garage and i was beginning to see the light at the end of it all, finally it was time to unlad the rest of the truck into storage, and then turn in the truck...we ended up at sonic at 11pm, it had been a long day, so we ate...then i slept, good...

ADVENTURES IN MOVING (Part I)

FRIDAY, AUGUST 5

so this day wasn't too bad, well if you dont count the three exams, inability to hold anything down because of excessive nausea, and my broken bumper held together with duct tape...so i finally finish my last exam, how i did i still dont know, nor do i care, and what is it doing when i leave this final final at 745 pm but raining cats and dogs, i mean it was hailing too...but at this point i walked slowly to my car, exausted but excited to finish my academic life at UAB, i mean, that was it...I HAVE GRADUATED...its nice....so anyway i go home to my boxed up apartment to find a large budget rental truck that my mother has shockingly driven from jackson to birmingham in one piece, the massive truck was in front of my apartment encompassing 3 parking spaces...so i go upstairs to find my mother working so lovingly at packing up the rest of my nasty cat hair apartment...we worked into the wee hours of the night (keep in mind that wee hours for me in 11 pm), so i finally got into bed a little after midnight, exausted and laying on a matress on the floor i tried to get to sleep...and it worked i actually fell asleep, well that is until my sister becca called me at 2 am in a state less than her natural best, after that i slept no more, with the cats running all over me (for i was on the floor and therefore a new toy) i lied there thinking about how this was my last night in my first 'real' home that i made for myself, well thinking and praying that God would just let me sleep for one hour...then the alarm, it was 6 am and time to start saturday...

okay, so i know i should be studying right now, but honestly i dont really care...i just got an email from one of my best friends, who well i dont know if she is my friend anymore, turns out that i made a comment that came out completely wrong, ya know when what is in your head comes out of your mouth 180 degrees different from what you thought...i now, well as i sit in campbell hall (b/c i have no more internet at home) i am trying to not cry...this is not a good day...three exams today, i leave b-ham t/m, and this on top of that is just the straw...i know that i need to go home and blah, blah...but i am scared, scared that the world here in birmingham will just keep on going without me, and i know it will, but i mean like i didnt exist...does this make sense...everyone's life will stay the same but mine, and i am afraid i am going to be trapped...i havent seen many of my friends this summer, but i want you all to know how much i will miss you...you all have had such an important part in my life i it kills me to leave, i will always consider yall my friends and hope you will do the same...anyway, enough rambling, not many people will even read this...i guess ill try to study...

the last girls night...sniff, sniff

quote of the day

"Don't dip the wiseman in your ketchup"

sisters

this weekend i got to spend time with all of my sisters...this is me, amanda, and becca...we had been swimming all afternoon so we may not look our best, but it was great to spend time together, well when we werent fighting, after all, somethings never change...

is this what i am coming home too???

i went home this weekend, and my most memorable moment would have to be the one where i met the new family pet...he frequents my backyard, eats the cat's food, and is not scared away easily...but isnt he cute, any name suggestions?

my most recently purchased new favorite and most used object....my lapdesk...yes i am a loser, i use it all the time...it is wonderful, i can now sit on my couch and study in comfort...i can spread out all of my junk and get things done...i feel so much more efficeint...gosh i am a dork, arent i?

so i visited with copeland today, which in itself is always an experience, and guess what we talked about...well, all of you that have been keeping up with the choir blog probably have a really good guess, now dont get me wrong, that is not all we talked about, i also updated him on my plans for the next year, and we discussed some of the upcoming plans of the choir (sniff sniff)...but the whole marriage conversation really stuck with me...the thing, i mean, that stuck with me is how i participated in this conversation, you see if you had heard my conversations on the subject three years ago it would be a totally different subject, and well, it kinda suprised me when i really stepped back and listened to myself today...anyway this all has prompted me to shed a little light on the "other perspective"...see all i have been hearing on this matter is people's opinions, and generally these opinions are nothing but that...most of the people talking about this subject in our social rehlm have a completly different view than the people who have been there...granted there are many people, and many of my firends from highschool that are happily married, the continuation of this post is not at all to say that young marriages dont work (b/c in many cases they do), the following is a look into the mind, heart, and soul of someone who has lived the argument that we have all been having, but this argument is internal:

"well, you just don't understand...we are in love and that is just not going to change. i mean what do you know. i have grown up so much in my first year of college, i think that i know better than anyone else, what i want in my life and how i want it to happen. we are so great together, i just can't imagine my life without him, and i just know that it is not going to change. i know that it wil be hard...im not stupid, but by this is going to work. i...we are going to make it work, i just know that this is God's will......."

"hm,that was strange, its never bothered me before, oh well.im better

now..."

"okay, this is not exactly what i had planned. im supposed to be in this place, things should be certain, i dont really know what...no, its okay, we can work though it, its not a big deal, it just me being stupid...we will make this work, after all its just a minor detail..."

"have i always felt this way about this subject...i cant remember, well yeah, its what i was taught, but i dont know if i feel the same way about it now...its seems so different"

"okay, take a breath, what have i done, i dont know if this is right, i mean, i shouldnt feel like this, right? it should be the other way, not this way, is this right, am i righ . . .stop it, stop it, your just not trying hard enough...dont cry, now then go back, your just being silly...you have to make this work"

"im in too deep, there is no turning back...it doesnt matter what i feel like sometimes, its all in my head...ok, ok, ok...im just nervous, other times its great...plus, well, its too late, suck it up...youve made my bed and you have to lie in it...the end"

"there is no one would understand, no one...it would ruin everything, my entire life if i, and his, and i cant, i am right, all those people who said it wouldnt work, they arent right, i am...you know, i just cant, i have to go through with it..."

"i cant....."

"okay, here goes........"

almost two years later...and well, i am still alive, and you know what i am more alive than ever...my experience helped shape me into who i am today, so i cant have any regrets, and you know what....i dont

so, one definite plan for the upcoming future...taking the MCAT...oh and it will remain official b/c i just forked over the money to take it...i figure God is giving me this year for a reason, why not weigh all of my options and knock on every unlocked door...i know i want to help people and i love medicine...so next logical choice, being a doctor...im going to see how i do on the test and apply to a few medical schools, in addition to a good number of pharmacy schools...surely with alot of open doors one will have to be right for me...

well, it's over...i got an email today telling me that i have been taken off the waiting list, so that door is closed...now i look forward, but everything is just blurry, but ya know what...maybe blurry isn't so bad, yes i like structure and definition, but maybe this is what i need...God is using this experience to teach me something, and i just have to be patient and keep my eyes open...i will learn from this and i will grow as a person...i move home in about three weeks, i have put in applications to the hospital that my mom works at and i am waiting on my acceptance letter from hinds (the local junior college)...ill work full time, take a couple of classes, save some money, and open a few more doors for myself...it will definitely be a growing experience, and i am trying my hardest to be thankful for it...

happy fourth of july!!! this is what we did tonight (this is not us, i forgot my camera), we walked to homewood park, had a picnic with bbq, and laid on the grass while watching the fireworks over red mountain...it was great, sure beats last year when i watched them from the hospital...there were so many families at the park, it made me feel like we were a family (i know, i know im getting too girly)...anyway, i need to try to get some rest i have to be back at work at 630 in the morning...i sure hope the kids stop celebrating with fireworks (they are right behind my bedroom window)...oh well, good night all

girls night

this is all the girls out on the town, no boys!!!

being lazy

ever wonder what it would be like to be a cat?...somedays i wish that i could just trade places with my girls for just a few days...this is how my girls spend the majority of their day, being lazy in their beds...aren't they beautiful...

hawaiian shirts, flip flops, jimmy buffett music, and even margaritas (well non-alcoholic)...sounds like i was at the beach, but no...i was at church...it's a new series at the contemporary service at my church and it is really great, i was only able to attend the end of it (b/c i had to sing in "big church")...one of our new ministers, wade, has started this new series "The Gospel According to Jimmy Buffett" i was really interested to see how this could be turned around into a sermon, and when i heard it, the message not only impressed me, but also moved me...it was so applicable to where i am right now, and i feel that as the weeks go one it is going to get even better...so if any of you are interested i really recommend just trying it out, youll never listen to Jimmy Buffett the same again

unofficially official

well, that about explains it...i got an email the other day saying that all applicants offered a seat at ole miss accepted their seats, so unless something bad happens to one of them (which i do not want) ill be in jackson in 6 weeks...but ya know what, it wont be that bad...my mom is busy right now with my sisters and trying to sell her house so i know i will be a big help, and i can take just a few classes, ya know take it easy, and concentrate on other things, itll be good for me to take it easy for a year or so...and next year ill apply at several schools, who knows i could be back next summer getting ready to go to samford, which is sounding kinda good right now...anyway i have no idea where i will be but i do know that whatever or where ever it is, it is what i should be doing, after all i am not the one that plans these things....i leave you with a song:

Hard as it seems

Standing in dreams

Where is the dreamer now

Wonder if I

Wanted to try

Would I remember how

I don't know the way to go from here

But I know that I have made my choice

And this is where I stand

Until He moves me on

And I will listen to His voice

This is the faith

Patience to wait

When there is nothing clear

Nothing to see

Still we believe

Jesus is very near

I can not imagine what will come

But I've already made my choice

And this is where I stand

Until He moves me on

And I will listen to His voice

Could it be that He is only waiting there to see

If I will learn to love the dreams that He has dreamed for me

Can't imagine what the future holds

But I've already made my choice

And this is where I stand

Until He moves me on

And I will listen to His voice

ONE YEAR!!!

yes that is right, charles and i celebrated our anniversery today (well we actually celebrated last night b/c we both worked tonight)...it was great, we grilled out salmon and shrimp and just spent some quality 'us' time together, i couldnt have asked for anything better...this year has flown by, it's kinda scary to know that ill be leaving in 8weeks, but enough about that...it has been a wonderful and amazing year, and i can only pray that the following years are as wonderful as the first...

i am in love with the most wonderful man ever...and it is great!!!

gosh it has been busy, sorry i havent posted in a while, but after my last post i was kinda down (if you couldnt tell)...so after that post i decided to try not to think about the fall too much, ive succeded slightly...everyone is constently telling me dont plan too much, enjoy your life, and all that stuff, but let me let you in on a little secret, planning is my distraction...you see if i am constently thinking about pharmacy school and my educational career i dont have to spend time realizing that i am about to leave what has now become my home...i think, i just think of my life in terms of school so that i dont have to think in terms of, well, my life...do not get me wrong, i am living and taking every moment to enjoy each opportunity that i get, but its nights like tonight, when i have the best time enjoying my life and all that it encompasses, that it hits me...less than ten weeks left, then its time to start over, establishing myself and my actions (not recreating, just restablishing regardless to where i am)...and well, i lose it...when everything is fast paced, hurried, and exciting, i honestly dont have any down time, but if i have just a moment of silence allowing my brain to drift i get "enjoy this while it lasts, it wont be much longer" and i just dont want to think about that, i want to keep myself from realizing that in about two months i will be off...so maybe that can explain my actions and words...i guess i think that if i keep concentrating on the plan and the ultimate future by working hard now then i dont have to think about the immediate future sitting at my doorstep...
(and for the people who keep telling me to enjoy each moment, dont worry, i am more than youll know)
ps...this was not meant as a 'down' post, i am extremely happy, this is just a small look into my thoughts and justifications...